The Aquarium We Live In
Read me attempt to weave in metaphors about Aquariums into a post about existing in NYC on your own— featuring solo itineraries, the best butcher shops in NYC, and other notes for the week
Last February, I visited the New York Aquarium at Coney Island by myself. I was at a crossroads in my personal and work life, unsure of how to make sense of where I’d landed at 30 years old. I sought solace in a place I had visited when I was half my height—a place that once seemed so much bigger.
It had been a few years of living on my own in the city. Back in 2019, instead of the typical young person leaving their family for the big city, mine left me for the great white north. I was at home, but without my parents or my sisters or my childhood house. Somedays I would ride the Metro-North by myself just to feel like I was moving through a memory, retracing the steps of when I was 2, 8, 14, 17, and so on. On that unseasonably warm February day, I sat in front of the giant fish tank at the aquarium, just as I had as a child, and stared into its abyss.
The aquarium offers a voyeuristic thrill, showcasing an entire ecosystem within view. Schools of fish circle lone flounders; crabs crawl in pairs across the sandy floor. Sharks hover above, casting shimmering shadows—untouchable and fantastical. You press your face to the glass, longing to be part of that world. If only you could weave through life as an organism of an ecosystem that relies on your presence to exist. But sometimes the ecosystem doesn’t need you, so you watch, unsure if you’re a background character or a god.
Moving through the city alone can feel the same. Watching people from across the train or behind a café window, you pass through their best, worst, and most forgettable days. This is true of life in general, but maybe it’s because I write what I know—New York is my aquarium. Press your nose to the glass and enjoy the view.
Once you reach a point in adulthood where you no longer feel your presence outside your body when you're on your own—when you sink into yourself—you are free. You can drink a glass of wine at a bar with a book, lit brighter than you expected, without flipping the same page over and over, or wondering if anyone across the bar has fallen in love with you. You exist without the need for acknowledgment or to be remembered—you are free.
You can lay out on a towel in Prospect Park, eating cured meats, drinking white wine, and smoking a joint while listening to Sharon Van Etten—all by yourself. You can sit at the bar at Keen’s, order a steak cooked however you like, and sip on a martini next to a group of men pounding whiskey in “Fordham Alumni” sweaters—again, by yourself. You can see any limited-release movie you want at the IFC Center on a rainy night, completely on your own. You can take the N train all the way to its end, stroll through a shuttered amusement park and past the closed hot dog stands, and visit the aquarium on a quiet Sunday in February—yes, by yourself.
This week’s newsletter is an ode to doing things on your own, whether that’s a weekday off in Greenpoint, treating yourself to dinner and a movie, or making a really good steak.
NYC Itineraries Solo Speed Round
A Perfect Weekday Off
Start your day in Greenpoint with a stop at Radio Bakery. Grab a sandwich, a cappuccino, and, of course, a pistachio croissant. Known for their insane lines on the weekend, it’s great to take advantage of the quick service and plentiful availability on a weekday.
Take your goodies to Transmitter Park, find a quiet spot by the water, and soak in the views while reflecting on life (or just enjoying your sandwich).
Afterward, wander through Greenpoint and pop into some of its gems:
WORD Bookstore for your next read.
Seven Wonders Collective, Dobbins Street Vintage, and Beacon’s Closet to hunt for treasures.
Need an afternoon reset? Head to Bathhouse in Williamsburg, the ultimate relaxation spot for just $55. It’s low-key luxe and perfect for a weekday escape.
Wrap it up at Bar Blondeau on the Wythe Hotel rooftop. Order an espresso martini and watch the sunset over the city—you’ve earned it.
Dinner and a Movie (solo friendly restaurants and their movie theater pairings):
KazuNori & Regal Union Square
Jin Ramen & AMC Lincoln Square
Le French Diner & Regal Essex Crossing
Chela & Garnarcha & Regal Astoria Kaufman
People Watching Spots:
Little Canal in Dimes Square gives one a great view of the comings and goings of Gen Z “hipsters” cosplaying as Doug and Patty Mayonnaise meeting their hinge dates at Kiki’s
Ride the 7 train to Flushing. Excellent people watching paired with a great window view of Queens and the Manhattan skyline. Bonus: pop over to the new world mall food court for a delicious and cheap lunch.
Walk the High Line with the specific intention of looking into peoples apartments.
What to Cook This Week
Despite not always having a valentine, Valentine’s Day has always been my second-favorite holiday—it’s a day dedicated to the color pink, eating chocolate, savouring a Chianti, and devouring aged red meat. How can I hate this wonderful bacchanal holiday just because I don’t have a partner?
Last Valentine’s Day, I was recovering from a series of awful first dates (hence how my emo ass ended up at the aquarium). Although I was mopey- I was NOT going to let that ruin my holiday. So, I got my ass to Ceriello’s Butcher Shop in Grand Central, bought a 24 oz NY Strip and a baguette. After searing it up, I sat on my couch, eating steak and sopping up the pan sauce while watching The Magnificent Seven—because honestly, Steve McQueen would definitely have been my valentine of choice.
If you find yourself alone this year—or really, on any day—it’s time to learn how to make a real good steak.
Choosing the Perfect Steak
Like any good valentine, a steak should be thick. We're talking at least 1.5 inches—2 ideally—and it should come from a great butcher. Some of my go-to spots include:
Paisanos Butcher Shop (Cobble Hill)
Ceriello Fine Foods (Grand Central)
Esposito Meat Market (Port Authority)
Albanese Butcher (Little Italy)
East Village Meat Market (East Village)
Vincent's Meat Market (Arthur Ave - The Bronx)
Las Americas Meat Market (Sunnyside)
Smile at the counter guy; he’ll help you navigate his meat. Personally, I prefer a NY Strip for at-home cooking—it’s not overly fatty, tender, and easy to handle in a pan. A Ribeye is also a solid alternative.
Cooking the Steak
Salt generously: Season your steak an hour or two before cooking and let it sit at room temp.
Cook low and slow: Preheat your oven to 250°F. Place the steak in a stainless-steel pan and bake for about 8 minutes. Start checking the internal temperature religiously at 8 minutes, then every 2 minutes until it reaches 90°F.
Sear it hot: Remove the steak and heat the same pan on high. Add some oil and sear the steak for 2 minutes on each side. Keep checking the temperature until it hits your desired doneness:
120°F for medium-rare/rare+
130°F for medium
Let it rest: Rest the steak on a cutting board for a few minutes.
Making the Perfect Pan Sauce
While the steak rests, it’s time to whip up a pan sauce:
Add chopped shallots to the pan and cook them in the rendered fat.
Deglaze with a splash of wine (red or white, whatever you like).
Stir in butter and cream to create a velvety sauce.
Be your own valentine and serve the sauce alongside your steak with some crusty bread for sopping it all up.
And we’re out…
If you’re into vintage designer handbags, please check out my friend Fiza’s newsletter Dizzy’s Designer Dreams. I’m seriously contemplating buying this Fendi Zucchini Hobo she found on The Real Real…
Listening: Remind Me Tomorrow by Sharon Van Etten. This album sounds like what it feels like to drive through the rain on a late winter’s day at 5:30 pm.
Reading: More short stories this week, this time a bit more bleak and wound tighter around the spool of the 20th century. What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver.
A random meal at any neighborhood restaurant in this city is better than any food ancient kings and queens ever ate in their whole life. Elizabeth the 1st may have been the Queen of England but she never had Caribbean oxtail over rice and peas with mac pie. Just think, you can eat that almost anywhere in NYC RIGHT NOW.
I love an extended metaphor and a full circle moment so to close out this week, let’s tap on the glass and watch the fish swim.
Gigi
Highly relatable as someone who loves a solo Coney Island adventure